“ NORMALIZATION OF WEAK, SILENT WOMEN”
Actually I have always been the rebellious child of my family. I come up with the most uncommon conversations, and mostly am given a shut up call, because such topics as women objectification and rights violation are too much taboo topics in desi families.
I was myself not a feminist some 2 years ago. I always associated the word with the snob culture and promotion of western pattern of living. But sooner or later I had debates over this topic with my friends, who made me read theories of liberal and radical feminism, which made my concept a little vivid.
Then, I myself judged the situation. Walking on a road alone never felt safe. Men saw me as if I were an alien, or as if I were a roasted chicken leg piece that they will eat me any moment. This is a very common exercise by Pakistani males to say “ MahAllah” whenever they see a woman (no matter if she is a 40 years old mature lady, a 16 years old teen-ager, or a 6 yrs old toddler.
I tried to talk to my elder sister, she told me that whatever I say is right but 1 woman cannot change the whole culture, hence we have to follow it.
She also said that these un-ethical norms have been deeply engraved in the minds of not only men but also our women, they feel the fear as mandatory part of their living, and they have accepted the wrong.
The words “TUM AKELI KIYA KRLO GI” trigger me the most. Hence I always have been a harsh character to almost all males. I give cold stares to all the rikshaw walas staring at me. I stop by people who pass comments onto me or any other girl (and I get to hear).I troll back all the so called “cool” social media trolls.
By doing all this I started to observe that all the people who know my attitude of a badass remain respectful and in their limits with me. Definitely we cannot change the world at once, but we can at least play our role to make the change.
I talked to my female cousin, my female friends and asked about their problems. They said we travel with our elders because if we travel alone, we are exposed to the shit of this society, which they don’t want. I also talked to my male cousins and fellows about this, most of them said the same thing that girls should not travel alone, this will protect them. Then I came to realize that males as well as females have been IGNORING the problem not SOLVING it.
I asked my companions to give slight shut-up calls or cold-stares to the ones who make them feel insecure. They all reported back that men were terrified by their slightest reactions.
I drew a conclusion that equilibrium will only be established when females give an EQUAL and opposite reaction to men. Even if the reaction is not necessarily equal, it will definitely create some resistance to wrong actions of males.
Then I devised a philosophy, just the way women trafficking had been normalized, we need to normalize women reacting back at men. And the lesser violent and more effective (pur-aman) reaction can be pepper spray, or shock guns. The normal use of these things will tell males that no one is going to make their harassments UN-NOTICED now. And just the way women have always been targeted for their HONOR, men will also be held accountable for their honors.
These actions will just add a YELLOW highlighter to the facts that go unread!
Problem statement:
“Stereotyping and cultural norms restrict women so much that they are forced to be a suppressed and accepting character, no matter even if their basic rights are being violated.”
1 in every 3 women has faced physical/sexual violence, 1 in every 2 women has experienced sexual harassments, 1 in every 20 women has been raped, 1 in every 5 women has experienced stalking, and almost 95% of victims trafficked for sexual exploitation are women.
But not even 40% of these are reported or given a reaction; because of normalization of all this.
Theory of change:
Safety is the basic right of every single individual of society, whether male, female, transgender, or even for animals.
Moving in this society, going to offices and working without the fear of being harassed or objectified is the basic right of males as well as females.
Being respected as a human being and not being trolled and chased for having a specific natural body type is THE MOST IMPORTANT right which is often not observed. And since hours and hours, days and days , months and months, years and decades even centuries have passed practicing the same norms of objectifying women, chasing them, raping them, exercising power over them (even when males have no power over them, when males are a stranger to them, not their father, spouse or brother)
But “silence is acceptance”. When the victim does not speak for herself, does not raise voice against the pressure bubble created around her, this society keeps on violating their rights and keeps on suppressing them.
If we empower women and tell them how to deal with it. How to RESOLVE this problem not to IGNORE it, this evil will definitely be eradicated or at minimum it will be reduced, and completely eliminated in the long run.
Introducing Pepper spray and shock guns as normalized products, indigenously producing them, promoting them, selling them at cheaper prices and then creating the courage to use them in public through volunteers will really bring in a change.
I hope this world is a safer place to live for both males as well as females, in the days to come. (Let’s BE the change)
:)
